Exposing myself to the blogging world! (or some other title more compelling)
Why am I here?
Why am I here? What a question! Its not intended to sound as deep and philosophical as one might interpret it. Just ‘why am I here?’ Why am I sat at my desk at home in front of the window, which is showing me a beautiful, sunny day? Sat writing this on my brand new laptop that I decided to buy because “I’m gonna start a blog”. Sat with background music, courtesy of Alexa after I shamelessly asked her to play ‘music for writing’ for me. By the way she opted for a rather harrowing classical number. I’ll ask for Spice Girls next time.
So basically, why have I decided to write a blog and is it going to be any good?
It’s a little premature to predict the latter part of the question at the moment but I suppose in recent months and following recent events, I have become increasingly aware of my mind, perspectives, thought patterns, interpretation and reactions. It has only just truly dawned on me how much goes on in that lump of tissue and nerves that sits snuggly in our skull. I don’t mean the fundamental factors such as basic human function, interpreting objects, enabling the five senses, remembering where you parked your car. I mean those unexpected thoughts and reactions that flow into everything we do and think about. How can a simple conversation or piece of information suddenly spiral into a completely elaborate yet fictional scenario in our heads? How does one simple remark or even compliment lead to a thousand thoughts and questions including “what the hell was that supposed to mean?” How can a song, a passing smell, a TV programme spark off emotions and memories so intense that your whole stomach feels like it’s frantically shuddering and for a few seconds, you can’t catch your breath.
All very intense I know. This certainly isn’t going to be a doom and gloom blog, written between being pressed up against the window tearfully staring at the rain and clouds (which will inevitably come after these few days of sunshine). There are many beautiful things in this world. Things that hit us head on or pass us by unnoticed. It is just as difficult to appreciate those things as it is to banish the not so beautiful things.
So in a nutshell, I want to write about my life and past, present and potential future experiences. Sounds very generic but stay with it…
That’s me! Probably the only photo with decent lighting that I own. I usually tend to fashion the ‘eyes nearly closed’, toothy ‘let me speak immediately prior to you taking the photo’ look.
Anyway, that’s enough of my comical face. Here is just a short description of who you’re reading about. I’m a 35 year old female from Birmingham with a flat, a car, a job and a laptop. I live alone (which I would highly recommend for anyone to do at least once in your life) and I work full time as a nurse, specialising in stroke and neurology.
I have a mom, dad, two brothers, a niece and nephew and a 91 year old Granny; I’m lucky enough to be part of a very close family. I can count the number of close friends on one hand, as I can imagine most people can.
I am recently single and very content that way for now. Never been married and no children. I’ll throw it out there now, I’m not a fan of kids. I love the ones close to me but all the other random ones seem to be popping up everywhere. Oh well, I’m sure they’re not a fan of me either but I’ll be civil.
I am generally a healthy human but was diagnosed with temporal lobe Epilepsy when I was 13. Despite taking medications and having an awareness of potential triggers, this is pretty much well controlled and I can thankfully lead a ‘normal’ life. It hasn’t been as plain sailing as that from day 1 but I’ll go into that another time. My Epilepsy also doesn’t cause limitations regarding my job and as my former not-so-tactful neurologist once informed me, I’m not ready to be plonked on the shelf just yet. Cheers for that love.
On a lighter note, I love coffee (as black as it comes).
I love the gym (took a while for that sentence to become true).
I love memes. I’m that 35 year old weirdo who sits in a coffee shop shamelessly laughing at all the meme pages on Instagram. My poor friends get tagged to death in meme posts and if someone sends me a GIF during a WhatsApp chat, well then they’re clearly friends for life!
I love confectionary items. There are no limits; cookies, cakes, ice cream, brownies, waffles, pancakes, reduced priced Easter eggs, jelly babies, raw cake batter and I’m anyones for a Double Decker.
Films- Romcoms (the funnier yet less cheesy the better) and horrors (the darker and more sinister the better).
Music- where to start?! If I like a song, I like it no matter what the genre. Sounds obvious I know but there are flocks of music snobs out there. But the simple sound of a guitar (electric or acoustic) grabs me like no other sound. Then again, I have the same reaction when its Hammer Time. Who doesn’t?!
I love yoga, despite being as flexible as a plank of wood. I love the concept of meditation and mindfulness but am yet to get anywhere near grasping this.
I’m partial to a good drink (thought I’d put that towards the bottom to avoid sounding like a raging alcoholic). Depending on mood, weather and drunk level, I tend to opt for lager, ales, brandy and gin. I haven’t jumped on the trendy Gin bandwagon by the way, I was classily sipping the stuff during my youthful teenage years (in between Snake Bites, Aftershocks and £1 bottles of VK).
That’s probably enough of the information that looks like it should be on a dating website.
So why write about myself rather than a specific area of interest? Well its not going to be a case of me purely writing about myself. That would surely be a bit self indulgent and even boring right?! But I am a ‘normal’ person who experiences things and feelings that (hopefully) everyone does at some point.The themes I’ll offer (that will no doubt evolve) will be along the lines of relationships and single life. Also health, fitness and brain health (although I’m certainly no expert), travel and fun activities (nor am I an expert on that) and I’ll throw some Nursing in as well (… we’ll say I’m competent).
On a deeper level as to why I’m tapping away at the keyboard. When life gets so loud and hard to make sense of, doesn’t it make you feel relieved to discover that someone not only goes through a similar experience to you but reacts in a similar way and has the same thoughts? Thoughts that may be happy or sad, self-pitying or empowered, amused or disgusted, motivated or have the desire to fester under the duvet. Then isn’t it even better for the same to happen but with different thoughts and approaches that you had never even contemplated? Two separate people might ask “why does this dress look hideous on me?”, “what made me love Rhodes so much?”, “why is the sight of a child falling over just so funny?” (controversial I know but I don’t mean under a car or anything) or even “why do I still feel so much pain?”
The words “I never thought of it like that” is a sign of widening mind.
We’re all complex creatures who are constantly learning about ourselves, others and the world around us in this one life we have. Whether we’re trying to or not. I also believe that any two, three, five hundred people can be on similar level in some way, shape or form.
So if I can spend a bit of time banging on about the world from my unique point of view, in the hope that it will make some sense to me and (fingers crossed) have a positive influence on even just one person, then why not.
Why not release some of the traffic in this ‘noisy brain’ of mine, as I now like to call it.